Your Favorite President 3:15

It was Friday. Some people call it Good Friday. I call it BEST Friday. A lot of people say, many people say, there’s never been a better Friday until Trump. Such a Friday folks. And King James, many people say King James could never even pass a cognitive test. But I invented Trump Best Friday and the world shall rejoice. 

It’s All About Me 53:4-6

Jesus, such a great guy, such a guy, came up to me with tears in his eyes and said, “Mr. Trump, sir, you are the most admirable business man” and I saideth unto him, “We’re going to make America great again” and he said to me, tears falling down his face, “You are the real Christ.” And then he died. He died like a dog. And I said, I prefer messiahs who don’t get crucified. 

Money, Please 11:3-4

Jesus was too dead to give me all of the gifts of the Lord. His father, who art in Heaven, is such a loser. I walked up to him and said, “Wow, this Heaven place is a pathetic excuse for a house. Was it built in CHINA?” And I saideth, “I live at Mar-a-Lago. It’s worth billions and billions and billions of dollars. Many people say, so many billions.” 

Ivanka 9:11

Yes, the son is dead, but the daughter is still living, And as sexy as ever, I sayeth. 

It’s About Time 27:53-56

This Christ fella, after three days being dead like a sucker and a loser, comes back to life. And in his stupid toga, he comes to me, tears in his eyes, and I mean this is a man who’s risen from the dead, and he comes to me with tears in his eyes and he praises me as the one true King and I said to him, “Mary Magdalene was ugly as a dog.” That’s what I saideth. And then I saideth, “This Sunday shall be called Trump Easter.

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